Stuck in Neutral

With the overblown Friends "Series Finale" still ringing in our ears, I thought I'd steal a line from the theme song. "Seems like you're always stuck in second gear..." I don't know about all of your vehicles but my Jeep can go about 45 MPH in second gear without breaking a sweat which is plenty fast enough to do some damage in a wreck. This did, incidentally, happen to me today. There is nothing like being at fault in an accident to make you evaluate your life. It seems like God has piled obstacle on top of obstacle in front of me lately. Perhaps just to see how long it would be before I asked Him to borrow a ladder. Firstly I have experienced the biggest change in my life in about 16 months with the birth of my second son. (which went great and I am so proud of my wife and new son) Having children is one of the greatest gifts and challenges that God allows us to have here on earth. But I'm getting ahead of myself. A month before Malachi arrived my car broke down. It was a pretty easy problem to diagnose, either cracked heads or a blown head gasket. Either of which I could fix with enough time and effort. So I spent ~$600 and a month of weekends removing and replacing both. I did all of this work only to find out that the water/antifreeze mix that the bad heads leaked into my engine block had ruined the rod bearings. Which means that the engine is shot and the car (a 1994 Chevy Corsica) is not worth putting a new engine in. So now we're a one car family. But that is not a big deal because I can bike to work from where we currently live. Then we are notified that our rent house in Russellville has an ant problem and a couple of roof leaks. After spending a good amount of money on an exterminator we found out that the problem was worse and the exterminator did not give us any warranty. So my brother and I fix the roof leaks and (I hope) fixed the ant problem today. So as I'm leaving Russellville I cause an automobile accident. (Hello $500 deductible) On top of that on the bike home from work Thursday my bike breaks down. (I can fix that too but that's another story) Okay God, you got my attention. What are you trying to tell me? It's sad that it takes this kind of adversity to make me turn my problems over to God. I have been unsatisfied with my current job for several reasons (that too, is another story) but I have been halfheartedly searching for another job. While searching for another job I had to ask myself "Would I really be any happier with another job?" Probably not. Since I have been in college I have wanted to serve in full time ministry. But now, with a family to provide for, it hasn't seemed possible to make ends meet with a ministry job. The events of the past month have taught me that God can move the ends to meet or exceed any income. The accomplishments that I have held as my own have only been opportunities that God has allowed me to accept. The next job I apply for will be a full time ministry job and we'll just see if God opens anything up for me. God, please help me never to forget the lessons You have taught me.

Breakfast of Champions

Moving is hard work, and often requires cheap meals on the go. (i.e. Mountain Dews and Moon Pies) I have finally gotten moved though...sort of. We were living in North Little Rock and are moving to West Little Rock. The catch was there was a two week gap between our former lease and when our new apartment could be occupied. So we are living with a friend and co-worker of mine, Dyron and his family. It has been fun so far and I think it will work out, especially since it is only for two weeks. I took a week off of work and I feel like I worked harder than I do at work. I would leave Dyron's at around the same time as I do to go to work and load truckload after truckload of stuff to the garage of another friend and co-worker

On the road again...

Well I've got good news and bad news. The good news, we're moved in to our new place. The bad news, I still haven't spent the night there yet. I got a call on Sunday asking me to travel on Monday. Our plan had been to move in throughout the week. I asked Dyron, Trey, and Winston if they could help me do a little "Power Moving" on Monday morning. We moved everything that we had stored at
Brady's house into our new home in about 5 hours. (photos of aftermath below) I should get to come home sometime next week. It just sucks having to be away from my family though. I swear it gets harder to leave every time. I'm just afraid that I will miss some milestone in the development of my kids, Or that Tessa will really need me for
something and I will be powerless to help her. Well, the latter is kind of already the case what with Tessa living out of boxes and all. Well, if it's any consolation I'm over 100% billable for the bonus period starting June 1. (Let's see if it lasts)

Farewell, President Reagan

Today, June 5th at 1:09 p.m, former President Ronald Reagan passed away. This is as close to a political post as I will probably ever come to on this blog. I grew up during the Reagan presidency. In my opinion he was a great president and a genuinely nice man. I'm sure many would dispute that but here are a few facts about his presidency. Average household income rose during his presidency in all income brackets. Job growth grew in almost all sectors (except farming) during his presidency. The GDP also grew at record rates. Here is a summary chart of the Reagan years. He did all of this for the economy merely by lowering taxes and cutting government spending. His tax cuts, were far greater by percentage for the lower to middle class, (see previous link) although not dollar wise because obviously, the upper class make more money. Here are a couple of his quotes on big government and waste.

"Government is not the solution, it's the problem." — Inaugural address, Jan. 20, 1981

"This is the issue of this election: whether we believe in our capacity for self-government or whether we abandon the American Revolution and confess that a little intellectual elite in a far-distant capital can plan our lives for us better than we can plan for ourselves."” — Oct. 27, 1964, televised speech for GOP presidential candidate Barry Goldwater.

"I've always stated that the nearest thing to eternal life we'll ever see on this earth is a government program.: - April 1986

Besides being a great President and a skillful orator and negotiator. He was also a devoted husband and father. You need look no further than his love letters to Nancy Reagan which were recently published in a book "I Love You, Ronnie" Here are some more memorable quotes of Mr. Reagan's to end this post on.

"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. congress."

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
- Ronald Reagan

"I did turn 75 today--but remember, that's only 24 Celsius."

"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."

And last but certainly not least, I wonder if he could see into the future regarding the attitude of some countries towards pacifying terrorists. (i.e. Spain)

"To sit back hoping that someday, someway, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last-but eat you he will."
- Ronald Reagan

restoring order

Man, I am blogging like crazy this week. I guess because I have a little free time on my hands. Anyway, I had to fly into St. Louis and drive 2 hours to get to Decateur, IL and I took some pretty cool photos with my camera phone. First, I took a picture of the St. Louis Arch. (below) Every time I see that structure I just think to myself "How remarkable." It's amazing to see what human ingenuity can create. Then I kept driving and saw a beautiful sunset against a storm cloud filled sky. (above) When it comes to human ingenuity vs. God's ingenuity God wins hands down. I was recently given a new concept to think about. Here it is in a nutshell. When God made the Earth, he put everything in a perfect order. Mankind then upset God's order by disobeying the only "do not" that God gave us. Everything that mankind does is an attempt to restore an order to the world. Why do people decorate, or even clean their houses? Why do we build skyscrapers and ornate cathedrals? Some would say just to show off and I'm sure that to some degree that's true. But if we look a little deeper I think we will find that we are only trying to restore some kind of order to the Earth. Think about it. How many times have you seen something man made and said "Wow, that is remarkable!" and wondered “How was that done?” Is it not the same reaction you have when you see the sky filled up with lightning, or a colorful sunset, or the view of a river from a high mountain? Why the similar reaction? What makes something seem impressive to us? We see something that God made and are filled with awe, so we struggle to find some way that we can make something that will fill us with awe as well. From the seven wonders of the ancient world to today's skyscrapers, man has made some pretty awe inspiring things. Anyway, just something to think about.

Rolling with the Punches

I arrived back in Little Rock yesterday. I was supposed to arrive at 5:00pm but due to a lot of little problems we missed our flight. The airlines said they could get us on a 6:00pm flight that would route us through Atlanta and put us in Little Rock by 11:45pm. No thanks, we drove here from St. Louis and arrived around 7:30pm. Well, Malachi is a totally different baby than he was when I left and Logan has changed too although not as radically. I hate to miss any of this time but this is how my job will be sometimes. The apartment is beginning to look like a home and I'm sure that we can have it into shape if I can spend a couple of weeks at home. I missed my family so much it almost hurt me to see them when I first got back. Logan ran to me and hugged me for the longest time. It was almost as if he was afraid to let go. We had a hard time getting him to go to bed. He just wanted to play with me and be held by me. I would have stayed up with him all night. Tessa got her hair cut short the way it was when we met. I really like it. It reminds be of our beginning. Next month we will have been married four years. It is hard to imagine how much our lives have changed in that time. Two kids, two jobs, four homes, and four vehicles later we are still going strong and rolling with life's punches. I know that whatever life throws at us we can handle it together. I'll end this post with a Bible verse and some pictures of the kids.

Ecclesiates
4:9 Two people are better than one, because they can reap more benefit from their labor.
4:10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion, but pity the person who falls down and has no one to help him up.
4:11 Furthermore, if two lie together, they can keep each other warm, but how can one person keep warm by himself?
4:12 Although an assailant may overpower one person, two can withstand him. Moreover, a three-strand cord is not quickly broken.

Good stuff huh? Here are the pictures.

Arkansas Kennel Club Dog Show

This Saturday we all went to see the Arkansas Kennel Club Dog Show. I had never seen that many types of dogs in one place. It barely seems possible that there are that many types of dogs. We saw dogs ranging from a 245 pound mastiff (Above) to dogs that would fit in your pocket. These dogs were amazing! I got to see big sheepdogs like the one from Looney Tunes. You know, the kind of dog that is so shaggy you can't even see their eyes. I've never seen that many different types of dogs in one place. It is almost hard to believe there are that many types of dogs. The most amazing thing about the day was the way Tessa knew the breed of every dog there. She was always saying things like "Oh, I've never actually seen a Bavarian Mountain Hound before but they have two of them here." I am still amazed how much she knows about not only dogs but animals in general. We will be watching some nature show and before the narrator can say the name of the rare animal that just walked in front of the camera Tessa is already spouting off facts about them. I could just turn off the volume and let her narrate for me. Well anyway, it was fun and I couldn't help but take some pictures.

Why Not Ethanol?

As any avid reader of this blog knows, I have been biking to work a good deal of the time. Some days it is not feasible but I'm not up to it every day. I'd like to say it is to protest high gas prices, but that's not it. A big part of it is just for fitness sake. And it is also out of necessity since we only have one vehicle now and Tessa sometimes has to haul around two kids while I'm at work. I am aware however, that fossil fuels are not going to last forever and some day we will have to make some serious changes in the way we generate energy. I saw something in Illinois while I was working there that intrigued me. One day while I was getting gas I noticed something about the gas I was buying. It had a big sticker on it that said 10% Ethanol. It was the cheapest gas at the station and it had a higher octane than the cheapest gas at the gas station up the road that did not offer Ethanol supplemented fuel. And besides that it was CHEAPER that the gas with lower octane. Where we were, pretty much all you saw was miles and miles of corn fields. It only stands to reason that they would have Ethanol in their gas. What is Ethanol you ask? Listen to this definition taken from e85fuel.com.

"Ethanol is a high octane, liquid, domestic and renewable fuel, produced by the fermentation of plant sugars. In the United States, ethanol is typically produced from corn and other grain products, although in the future it may be economically produced from other biomass resources such as agricultural and forestry wastes or specially grown energy crops."

And listen to these facts about Ethanol from the same website.

*E85 has an octane of approximately 105.
*E85 sells for approximately the same price as unleaded gasoline.
*Ethanol reduces the incidence of greenhouse gas emissions.
*Ethanol is domestically produced and promotes energy independence.
*Ethanol production increases the value of feed grains grown by farmers.
*Ethanol is biodegradable and does not contaminate water.
*Ethanol can be produced from a number of different feedstocks including paper and agricultural waste.


Call me crazy, but this seems like a good fuel to me. We can grow it. It is renewable. It is better for the environment. It helps America's Farmers. It also has a higher octane than Premium Unleaded. Sure we may have to get by with a little less high fructose corn syrup but isn't that what's making us so fat as a nation? So it's a win win situation. We become skinnier as a nation, and get a higher octane cleaner burning fuel that we can produce whenever we want for as long as we want. I know that we should eventually switch to hydrogen cell cars or solar cars but that requires a new infrastructure. How many hydrogen refueling stations have you seen lately or solar car repair shops? We don't have them but we do have cars, with tanks that can run on Ethanol, and a tried and true distribution system. I'm not asking for any conspiracy theories on why we still use oil but I do think these things need to be talked about. Public debate and letters to senators is the first step towards change. I just don't see why we can't start with 10% Ethanol and work our way up to 100%. If they can do it in Illinois I don't see why we can't do it everywhere. Or we could just all bike to work.

How Do I Spell Relief? - D E N T I S T

I had a root canal this Saturday. Sounds like a bad thing and don't get me wrong, it wasn't any fun. It is however, much preferred to the week of dental pain that preceded it. Some days I think I should just get it over with and have all of my teeth pulled. Or maybe I should just start having someone pre-chew my food. On the other hand, if I have enough root canals maybe all of my teeth will be porcelan veneers that are impervious to cavities. Funny that they put the same material in your mouth to act as a tooth that they make toilets out of. Oh yeah, and just who are these "they" people? They say that chocolate and sugar causes cavities. They say that cell phones will cause brain cancer. They say that lightning travels from the ground to the clouds. I just don't think I trust these "they" people. Uh Oh, I think that was the pain medication talking, I should probably go.

Discipline

Discipline - Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement

Self-Discipline comes in several forms, physical, spiritual, and mental. There have been many times in my life when I lacked a significant amount of any of the different forms of it. There is one now at least that I have a pretty good handle on, physical discipline. I am past the point that working out is a nuisance only to be tolerated in order to achieve good health. I actually enjoy and look forward to working out now. A great friend of mine in college, Barry Morton, once told me that he believed physical discipline was a great first step towards achieving spiritual and mental discipline. I now believe he was right. Barry was serving as the Age to Age director at the ATU Wesley Foundation at the time. Only recently have I began to realize that being physically disciplined has served to make me more mentally disciplined. Chalk it up to increased hormones or whatever you like but I am able to stay more focused lately. That in itself is enough to motivate me to continue staying in shape. Besides the fact that I have more energy and initiative. Now I need to work on my spiritual discipline. I have been on a job site alone since Thursday night and will be alone until Monday. I need to properly utilize this time to work on my relationship with God. I believe God often brings us to a place of solitude so that he can work on us without interruptions. As much as I miss my family I know that this time alone will be good for me. I just hope I get to go home sometime next week.

Talking to Myself

As previously mentioned I am staying on a job by myself. This has provoked not only deep thoughts about self-discipline but also just general boredom. We don't think about how much we need interaction with other people until we are reduced to the most menial of conversations/interactions. The occasional, "Oh excuse me" in the elevator, the holding of a door open for a stranger, the "Would you like fries with that?" from the hamburger clerk. These interactions will not carry the average person through a day. Talking to myself began almost immediately. Woe to the person who calls me. I will cling to any conversation for as long as possible. If you call me to ask me a simple question you should be prepared to talk for at least 20 minutes. It's either that or talk to myself and to be truthful, I've been ignoring myself lately.

I Had the Weirdest Dream Last Night...

Last night I dreamed that I had a family. A beautiful wife, two healthy happy boys, and had made a pretty good life for myself in Little Rock. I woke up and thought that would be so nice. It wasn't until later that I remembered that I really do have all of those things.

But seriously, it has been so long since I've been home that it almost doesn't seem possible that I have a normal life. Tessa sent me some pictures of the boys yesterday and it made me want to go home even more. I just hope I get to stay home for some reasonable length of time so that I can get to know my family again. I'm always afraid that Logan and/or Malachi will forget me while I'm gone. Logan used to like to talk to me on the phone but lately as soon as I start talking he backs away from the phone. I don't like that.

I was scheduled to fly back to Little Rock today by 7:00pm. My flight was canceled and now I won't be home until 10:40pm. I'd drive but it's not worth the 3-4 hours it would save. Tessa and the boys won't be home until Friday morning anyway so it's not so bad. Oh well, at least I'm going home.

Stuck in Texas

First let me at least start off on a positive note. I am posting this while we are driving down the interstate. Pretty cool that we can now have internet through our phones no matter where we are. And, while in Texas I have been able to see the Alamo and go up in a 750 foot tower to see a great view of the city. That is all of the positive news I have.

After a whopping four (4) days at home I was politely forced into traveling to San Antonio, TX for what was supposed to be a one (1) to two (2) day job. Tomorrow will be day four (4). Is my sarcasm coming through? Good. Being gone 4 days wouldn't be such a big deal if I hadn't just got back from a 17 day stretch. I may regret posting this later but I've always told myself that I will post whatever is currently going on in my life and how I feel about it. Some day I will probably look back on all of this and laugh but it won't be today. (tomorrow's not looking that good either)

Meanwhile Tessa is having a hard time with the kids and I'm stuck here with my hands tied behind my back. If having to be gone for weeks at a time only affected me it wouldn't be so bad. But to have Tessa call me when she is close to tears with frustration is almost more than I can bear.

Trailblazers Die Easy

Okay, for those of you who haven't heard, I had a wreck yesterday. Don't worry Coop, it wasn't my vehicle. And, as you can see from the picture, it was no minor accident.

I was driving the company Trailblazer on Interstate Hwy 30 coming back from a day trip to Texarkana. It had been raining for a while but it had just recently turned into relatively heavy rain. I had even slowed my speed because of the rain. We are topping a hill with a slight left hand turn in it when we spotted the three other wrecks on the side of the road. I initiated a lane shift to the left lane. Mistake. The vehicle didn't respond in the way I thought it would, (i.e. turn.) Instead it began hydroplaning towards the left guardrail. My attempts to turn it away from the rail were met with stubborn resistance. When we hit the left rail, the left front tire blew to shreds. We then spun around and hit the right guard rail which abruptly flipped the Trailblazer onto its top. (Above) Ever had a seat belt keep you from falling and hitting your head on the ceiling? I have.

When we stopped moving, I held myself off of the ceiling with one hand and unbuckled my seatbelt with the other. I then crawled out of the busted out window. Today someone made the comment, "That must have been hard to do." while referring to holding myself up and unbuckling the seat belt. After a moment's thought I replied, "No, actually it was remarkably easy." Looking back I'm sure I had adrenaline to spare.

One of the things I realized is that when you are driving, or really doing practically anything, you are not in control. No matter how "in control" you may feel, something else is driving. Let me give you a scenario. John Q. Scientist has just invented a "Warp Zone" transporter for motor vehicles. All you have to do is set your destination, drive into it, and drive out the other side at where ever you wanted to travel, instantaneously. Sounds great huh? But this is new technology so there are some risks, supposing Mr. Scientist can get 212,685,000 217,293,000 people to use his device per year, 41,717 of the people who use it will come out of the other side of it dead, many horribly mangled. Another 2 million will exit the warp zone with permanent injuries and another 6.4 million will only suffer minor injuries and damage to their vehicles. Would you still drive into the warp zone? I don't think many would. But these statistics are taken directly out of 2002 accident statistics for the U.S. So why drive? Control. You feel as if you actually have a measure of control. Let me tell you, the number of factors you do not control when driving your vehicle far outnumber the number of factors you do actually have a measure of control over. There are several hundred things that could break in the mechanisms of your vehicle that could cause you to crash. Multiply that times the number of vehicles in front of you that could have mechanical failures and crash and cause you to hit them or someone else who hit them. And that's not including drunk or even sleep deprived drivers, or inclement weather. You could go on for hours listing factors.

I know this is going long so if you want to continue reading, click below to see how this crash affected me emotionally, physically and spiritually.

But enough about that. Let's talk about how this wreck made me feel. Although I didn't fully realize the gravity of it until I got out of the blazer, I definitely saw my life flash before my eyes. I was completely aware of every second of the wreck from start to finish. It seemed like the blazer flipped in slow motion. My only thought at first was to try to minimize damage on the vehicle until it became apparent that it was going to be seriously damaged no matter what. Then I was afraid of not being able to get out once it stopped. What if they had to cut the car to get me out? Then we flipped. Everything that was loose in the blazer flew past my head, most of it ended up on the dashboard.

I looked over at Paul who said "Let's get the H&## out of here before we get hit." "Good idea." I thought. So we made the busted out drivers window our escape route. The only injuries we sustained were minor cuts on our hands from crawling out of the window. Then I began looking at the wreck. Two damaged guardrails, one flipped Trailblazer and two very lucky survivors. When we hit the second guardrail, we both thought we were going to go over it. If we had we would have rolled over probably at least four times down a steeply sloped embankment. Judging by the amount of damage one half rollover had on the top roll protector, I'm not sure how high the ceiling of the blazer would have been after four. Probably not high enough. Thank you God.

The next thought was my family. What if they lost a husband and a father today? I couldn't bear the thought of it so I banished it for now. I still had things to do. I had to fill out an accident report, I had to secure transportation for us back to the office and let the office know that the Trailblazer was no more. I also had to call Tessa. But that have to wait for now.

After taking care of my legal duties I was able to stare at the blazer again and relive the wreck. What if my family had been in there? How well do those car seats really work? How would we get our kids out of their seats upside down? You'd better believe that I will be a different driver from now on, especially when my family is in the car. Not that I was reckless before, but I will probably be overly cautious now. Regardless of all variables involved with accidents, the ones we control are still important. Our speed, following distance, seat belt use, and just general aggressive driving can really affect our chances of having a wreck and the severity thereof. I didn't do anything different that I usually would have in this situation except that I had a wreck this time.

I realize that I am rambling at this point but I feel it necessary to document how I feel regarding such a major event. In high school I read a short story called "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge." The previous link is a link to the actual story. If you are serious about understanding how this wreck made me feel you should stop reading this now and read "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge." I strongly encourage you to read it, at least from III on, because it is a big part of the rest of my story.

Of course the Owl Creek story is fiction, but I have heard of scientific studies showing a spike in brain activity shortly before death. And I know my dreams. Vivid, detailed, and sometimes as real as the world of my waking hours. Often I wake up wondering if the dream was real, only to realize momentarily that it couldn't be. The line between dreams and reality was far more blurry when I was a small child. I still remember being awake and wondering if my dream was what was real and everything I was seeing was a dream.

The rest of the day was almost dreamlike to me. Everything I was experiencing was something my subconscious brain could have easily anticipated. Trey called about the insurance. I got a ticket. They towed the car. The office sent an Administrative Assistant to pick me up. Even my conversations with Tessa and others were predictable. I knew that my brain could have easily created these scenarios. It seems ridiculous but so does flipping a vehicle and crawling out of the window. I don't think I believed it on a very high level. But on the other hand I couldn’t seem to shake it, with every minor detail of the day I would think, “predictable”.

The first thought that entered my head while it was still upside down in the Trailblazer was, "How are God and I doing?" The very fact that I couldn't immediately answer it leads me to believe I need to communicate with Him more. Throughout all of my life struggles God has been with me, helping me, supporting me. And yet I can barely find the time to talk to Him, or to learn more about Him. If there is a next time (and I fervently pray that there is not) my hope is that when that same thought pops into my head I'll just smile, knowing that God and I are on the best of terms.

Thank You Bobby...

This week, I lost a dear friend. Bobby Jackson. He was 23 years old. He was bicycling to a meeting at the ATU Wesley Foundation where he was the Director of Worship.

Bobby was the kind of guy that everyone wanted to be around. What a quality guy! An all around super guy. He was an excellent musician, actor, and a friend to all. This guy had a true heart for worship and servanthood. Years ago I used to live in the Wesley Foundation. A condition of my living there was that I had to mop floors, clean toilets, take out the trash etc. Luckily, I was not the only one living there. For a time Bobby was one of the students living there. I don't ever recall him complaining, except in jest as we all did from time to time. Sometimes it's funny just to laugh at the ridiculousness of college kids cleaning toilets on a Friday night.

I went to the visitation last night. After recently dealing with my own mortality I wasn't looking forward to this. There is something about seeing the shell of someone you love laying there that tears your heart out. I did my best not to look at him until I absolutely had to. But even standing at the foot of his casket it hit me. His feet are in there. His legs. All the parts of him that used to so casually walk around are now laying there, unanimated. The breath of life has left. A friend of mine and I were talking some time ago when he said something that I have thought about a lot since. When asked for his name, God simply replied "I Am." What?!!...I am...what does that mean? Sounds like an unfinished sentence. But it's not, let's try this idea. "And Jehovah God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." (Gen 2:7) God is. He is the only one who is. We are all just mooching off of the one breath of life that God gave Adam. Some people do more with the breath of life that they are given. Some people take this gift and squander it. I don't believe Bobby took the life that God gave him for granted or forgot for very long where his power came from.

I didn't realize until after he died that he has a blog as well. I had never thought about my blog as a way for people to remember me after I'm gone. But I'm sure it will be. His last post has 120 comments. This is one quote that struck me, "isn't it weird how we rush here...our last piece of you" I haven't seen Bobby much the last couple of years, particularly since we moved to Little Rock. But after reading what he wrote in his blog and what people said about him, I know he is okay. He finished the race, stronger than most. I believe he was true to the end.

Now to the last gift Bobby gave me. When I had my car accident, for a few moments the thought entered my mind, "This could be the last second I get. Oh God please don't let it be." And, in that moment, I was not at peace. It was not as I'd always thought it'd be. I began to question not only was I going to enter into heaven, but is there anything after this? Is everything I've ever believed about God, his love and mercies, all just a story to placate those who are searching for meaning? Bobby, reading about your journey through your ministry, your band, and reading what the people who loved you wrote about you has renewed my faith. I'd forgotten what it's like to be around people like you. People who radiate God's love and can't help it because God is living so fully in them. True walking inspirations. The body of Christ. And then to see your body laying there, you so clearly weren't in it. Not that it made it any easier to see you. I believe the real pain in seeing a body is not to see what is there but to see what isn't there. Your body was barely able to contain the spirit you were given. Now you can praise God on a level that we can only dream about. Godspeed Bobby.

Is it wrong to cherish life?

I just read this post on Becky Jackson's blog. For those of you who don't know Becky lost her brother Bobby a month ago, he was 23. Bobby and I were friends and it hurts to know he's gone, but she was his sister. I can't begin to know how much it hurts her and to be truthful I don't want to. Reading about Becky's private memories of childhood games, special moments, and funny stories has made me very reflective on my own life. I don't want people to have to remember those things about me and wish I hadn't died so young.

This is part of an ongoing discussion I've had with myself. I believe this is the fourth post I've made that at least tells some of my thoughts on death, and more specifically my death. It is almost enough to create it's own category but I won't, I'm not sure I should encourage myself to think about it.

When I think about death, I can't help but ask myself these questions, "How will I die? What kinds of things do I do that put my life at risk? What can I do to minimize the possibility of dying young?" These are pretty new questions to me. Before I began work at an emergency response company I pretty much felt like I controlled all risk factors in my life. I'm not sure if that was naivety or if I did have far less risks at that time in my life. Let's look at that time vs. now.

2000 - 1. Worked 8-5 job.
2004 - 1. Work 8-5 job some of the time. Am called out at random hours on random
days to fly to undetermined location and work for 30 hours strait on a hazardous
chemical site.

2000 - 2. Live in a city with very little crime.
2004 - 2. Live in a city where shootings, muggings, etc. happen on a daily basis.

2000 - 3. Biked occasionally on non-busy streets and mountain bike trails.
2004 - 3. Bike constantly on busy roads and streets.

2000 - 4. Drove or biked ~ 4 miles on slow moving streets to work.
2004 - 4. Either drive ~22 miles through Little Rock rush hour traffic at high
rates of speed, or bike 14 miles through busy roads and streets through
slightly questionable neighborhoods.

2000 - 5. Lived in a 1600 square foot house for $480 a month in a quiet neighborhood.
2004 - 5. Live in a 1000 square foot apartment for $610 a month with an upstairs
neighbor who plays rap music at high volumes with gates that close at night
for our safety.

Okay, so maybe it's not my imagination. Somebody remind me why I changed my life so much. I think I may need to consider simplifying my life again.

Sick of it

I just turned off the presidential debate. I can't listen to it anymore. Both of them, when given a chance to present an idea, or tell how they feel about an issue etc..., instead attack their opponent. Naturally they are both under constant attack from each other but at least once JUST defend yourself without attacking back.

I'm not gonna make a big deal about who to vote for (or against) but I just want to vent. I'm not allowing comments on this post as I do not want this blog to be a place where people come to fight. I have never been a big fan of our two party system. To me it creates a gang mentality, us against them if you will. Each party has it's own "turf" which it guards by any means necessary. It wasn't until I was in college that I discovered that George Washington was the first, and probably strongest opponent of a two party system. Read all about it in his farewell address. I've had people tell me that this is the only way it can work. It's the only way the common man can have his voice heard. That's crazy. In today's system you pick a party, and a set of values. What if you don't agree with all of those values? If you don't think we could have three, four, or even five candidates for president up there right now debating answer me this, "How many Democrats did we have at the beginning of this election?" They seemed pretty well able to debate each other and determine a clear winner based on state by state competitions.

Maybe it's not fair that I'm not allowing comments on this post but it's my blog and by golly I can do whatever I want. Don't try to sneak them in on any other posts either 'cause I'll delete them. The purpose of this post was for me to vent. Okay I'm done.

Minotians are Good People...

I just returned from a trip to Minot, ND. I spent some time here almost three years ago but have not been back since. I had forgotten much of the charm of not only the people but also the little town.

When I was there a couple of years ago, a few of us got together and watched the movie Fargo, which is a dark comedy set in Fargo, ND. There are some rather gruesome scenes in it but for the most part it is a hilarious movie. I'm sure the "network edit" of it would be watchable. They really play on the local dialect of North Dakotans. Before I watched it I only noticed the difference in language on a subconscious level, but after watching the movie it became hilarious to hear people talk. It's kind of like watching Jeff Foxworthy poke fun at himself and the south in general. When you hear the worst, most exaggerated version of something it often helps you notice it in it's more subtle real-life version. On this trip, I learned that the origin of the North Dakotans accent is Scandinavian. This is the week of Norsk Høstfest, a celebration of Scandinavian-Americans. Every morning at the breakfast bar of the hotel I could barely drag myself away from conversations with old ladies who were there for the festival. They wanted to know about Arkansas and they had plenty to say about where they were from. Genuinely good, interesting people.

Growing up I always thought that northerners (Yankees) were probably rude, stuck up, and generally not nice people. This is not always the case. Minot is not a very populated place, in 2000, North Dakota had 642,200 people, which placed the state 47th in population. Only three states had less population than Minot. In Mr. Crawford's history classes (Southside, Bee Branch Rocks!) in high school, I learned that the origins of "Southern Hospitality" were rooted in the distance between neighbors. In between rambling stories of Cotton Plant, AR and telling us to "Be Quiet (pronounced Quite)", he told the "Claise" that people were so hospitable because whenever they saw anyone from outside of their home or small community it was quite an event. This made the visitor(s) very important and worthy of extra attention/care. Thus "Southern Hospitality" was born. I believe that much the same thing happened in North Dakota. This is a rugged country, so cold in the winter that it seems impossible that they survived there before Gore-Tex. I was told that this previous summer it only got above 80 degrees about 10 times. The people here are every bit as hospitable as anyone I've ever met in Arkansas. I could talk about North Dakotans for some time but I have to stop writing sometime so I'll end with some of what I call "Minotisms."

Uff-da! - An exclamation of suprise.

Don'cha know? - Do you not know? Mostly this question is not literal, meaning "Do you agree?"

U beecha! - You bet! Also means, I agree.
example -
- Question "Yamaha makes a good snowmobile these days don'cha know?"
- Answer - "Oh ya, U beecha"

A? - Do you agree? (Also applies in Canada)

New Look, Same Content

Well, if you didn't notice I'm changing a couple of things around here. I'm not done re-designing this site yet but it's a start. I just get sick of seeing the same old website over and over again. I guess it would help if I didn't design it. I'm my own harshest critic. After looking at it long enough I decide that it looks terrible and just has to be changed. Anyway, I made this cool 3D robot so I may as well use it for something. I toyed around with including an animation but I decided it took to long to load. If you want to view it you can download it here. It should take only a minute or so but that is way longer than most people will wait to see a website before they assume it is down.

Anyway, here are a couple of pictures of Logan and Malachi to keep their fans happy. These two are the greatest. As weird as it may sound it is obvious now that they love each other. More on this subject later, here are the pics.

Groundhog Day...All Over Again

As I mentioned in my last post, I am traveling on a job. I am currently on week two of a two week stay in St. Louis. This job has developed a pretty routine schedule. This particular job is like most others at this stage, BORING!

I don't know if you have seen the movie Groundhog Day, if you haven't I recommend it. It is a hilarious story featuring Bill Murray as a newscaster who is forced to relive the same day, Groundhog Day. Every day he wakes up and every day it is groundhog day and he is in the same town with the same people and the same situations. Nothing he can do seems to change anything, the day is always the same.

I feel like I am in Groundhog Day. Every day I awake in a strange bed with the same day before me. Every day is exactly the same day as the one before. I get up, I go to the site, I do our work, I come back to the hotel, and so the story goes. It was especially bad last week when the sun didn't shine for days. As with Groundhog day, the only thing that changes about the day is how I respond to it. It really is kind of a unique experience to see how our actions or attitudes can change the way our day goes. Each day I face the same people, the same tasks, and most of the same choices. Really most of our lives aren't that much different from this situation. Actually, I take that back, if you have young kids every day is it's own unique situation. I think Tessa will back me up on that one.

So, what have I learned from all of this? The most important part of any day is not what happens but how you react to it. If the same things keep happening over and over again, just experiment with different ways of reacting to them and see how they respond differently. Oh yeah, I had to share one more thing. In my particular situation, everything is not always exactly the same. One thing is entertaining and unique every day...the Graffitti. Below is one of my personal favorites, I suggest you click on it to see it at full resolution. I leave you with this photo, along with a quote that I saw on a boxcar, "Graffitti, my anti-drug." Talented and funny people, these graffitti artists.

Money Matters

Something weird happened today. I went to the gas station to purchase the usual Mtn Dew and snack foods that supplement my "on the road" diet. Based on an earlier survey of my wallet, I believed that I only had a 5 dollar bill in it. At the counter I absent mindedly handed a bill to the clerk and received $16 and change back. I was, for a moment, confused but not sure why. When I got in the car it hit me, "Didn't I only have $5 when I went in there?" Looking back, I can't really be sure how much money I had. We spend so much money on meals, snacks, and expenses that it is really hard to keep up with it all. I honestly don't know how much money I gave the clerk, I only know for sure that I got back $16 and change. What should I have done? What should I do now? This may bother me for a while.

Clinton Presidential Library Opening

I'd be ignoring the elephant in the room right now if I didn't do a post about the Clinton presidential library. Personally, I'm gonna have to agree with Hank W., it looks like a double wide on stilts. From what I've been able to see on TV it is really impressive inside. Actually, I can't wait until the histeria dies down a little and I can actually check it out for myself. Of course there was no chance of that today what with Presidents Clinton, Carter, Bush and Bush hogging the place. It is kind of cool to think that today I was sitting at work within a mile of three former presidents, the current president, and tons of celebrities. I'm sure that this is the most action that Little Rock has ever seen.

We walked downtown yesterday to eat at the River Market on the off chance that we might see a celebrity. We didn't, but it was neat to see all the hipe. I have never seen downtown look better. They have been making improvements little by little for quite some time now. The River Rail, new River Market parking garage, new crossing signs that count down the time until the No Walking symbol appears and vice versa, new fancy street signs, etc. Every building had red white and blue banners hanging from them. It was pretty exciting, policemen on horseback, restaurants full of happy people, a contageous buzz in the air. Yeah, it's all pretty neat but me, I'm just ready to be able to drive downtown again.

It's Hard to Find Good Help These Days

As we all know this is the Christmas season. The season of spending time with family, eating way too much pie, watching football bowl games, and shopping. There is also another more sinister season hidden in with this time of year...return season. All of the gifts that we received in triplicate, or don't fit, or are just plain unuseful. Typically, Walmart is the best place to start when returning items. Chances are they were bought there, and even if they weren't they'd still probably take it. Since the beginning of time, Walmart has had one of the most liberal of return policies of any of the major chains. Often, the problem is not the policy, but the service.

Tessa and I bought a bike trailer. for Logan and Malachi. It is a great product but we decided it should wait until spring. It is just too cold. We had already assembled it and thrown away the box. But we still had the receipt. No problem...right? Wrong! They acted like we dropped a train on them. So they need the number right? Is there no SEARCH function in their software? No, they page about a half dozen people trying to get someone to look at the number and radio it to them. So I leave Tessa at the counter, walk to the product, take a picture of the code with my camera phone, and return to the desk. I show them the picture of the number and we're on our way. There has to be a better way.

Check out Tessa and Tim's blogs.

Sorry about the long break between posts, especially after promising more posts coming soon. I was called unexpectedly to a train derailment. It may be a while for a good post, in the meantime, check out Tim's and Tessa's blog. Tessa has been blogging like crazy since I've been on the road. Tim is finally hopping on the blog train as well. here are the links.

http://twood.blogplot.com

http://bugabooyu.blogplot.com

I'm sure they'd both appreciate some comments.

Leaving on a prop plane...again!

At least I'm headed the right direction this time. I'm headed home tonight and it is none too soon. 14 days on the road is pretty much pressing my tolerance level. The last two weeks have been trying for both Tessa and myself, not to mention Logan and Malachi. Thank you for all of your prayers and support.

More fun posts to come soon!

-Matt

Things that remind me of Bee Branch

From time to time I become very reflective/sentimental about my life so far. I can basically divide my life into five stages:

1. Childhood
2. High School
3. College
4. Married life
5. Married with children

On this recent trip, I spent quite a lot of time thinking about my childhood. Maybe it was all of the ATV's that were always running around the site. Which brings me to Bee Branch.

Anyone remember the 5-Wheeler? Sure, it would only go 16mph but we still found ways to wreck it. No telling how many times we had to pull it out from between two trees or pull it out of the mud. I still remember using the transmission to slow down while descending the mountain because the brakes didn't work. If you ever got the RPM's too high you were in trouble, as Tim and I can both speak to.  Even with no breaks and an often broken front end we got a lot of use/fun out of the old thing.

Ah, who could forget the endless string of 3-Wheelers that Tim kept finding "good deals" on. Actually, some of them were pretty cool. I still remember flying down a few hills with the throttle stuck, that was kind of scary.

We have always been able to count on Tim to keep finding some type of ATV, horse, or old broken down cow to keep things interesting around the old farm. But lately Tim has made a breakthrough...the 4-Wheeler.

We had a blast with Tim's newest ATV on Christmas. We were pulling an old mattress behind it in the snow until the mattress flew apart. Then we pulled an old tire behind it. Finally, an ATV that not only has brakes, but will also stop when it needs to, and with perfect throttle control. Way to go Tim! I'll post some good pictures of it in the snow when I get them off of my digital camera.

Holler if you hear me

If you're down and feelin' blue
Can't afford a Mountain Dew
Drive down to the Save-A-Lot
Spend two dollars, look what you got
A little taste of heaven...in a can

[guitar solo]

Soda pop soda pop soda pop
Soda pop soda pop soda pop

Soda pop soda pop soda pop
[slowly]
Handy twelve pack....

Vacationing While Sick: The Fun and the Consequences

Last week Tessa and I went to New Orleans. I had a presentation at a conference there and we just decided to make a mini vacation out of it. Which would have been fine it I had been well. Last Tuesday afternoon I started having body aches and feeling just generally terrible. Between night sweats, body aches and a high fever I barely slept all night. But in spite of it all we went to Bentonville to drop off the kids on Wednesday. They make wonderful medicines these days. I kept a steady supply of DayQuill, Tylenol, Mucinex, and Aleve Cold and Sinus flowing through my body. We went to New Orleans and had a fantastic time, but at what cost. Today I feel like I've been running at full speed for weeks. I called in sick to work today and barely even got out of bed. It's hard to believe that I was even more sick than this for most of last week but didn't even know it. Strange how well medicine can mask the symptoms. At any rate, we had a great time and my personal favorite was the Aquarium of the Americas. The Sharks were enormous! Even through glass I was scared. Here are some great pictures.

Big News!!!

Preface

I feel I should explain this post. There are too many subjects to pack into one standard post so I decided to do it in report format. So just read on and have fun with it, I did.

Executive Summary

I got a new job at U of A Winthrop Rockefeller Conference Center on Petit Jean Mountain as an Information Technician. This job will allow Tessa and I to move back into our house in Russellville, which we still consider home. We also purchased a 2000 Nissan Quest minivan which means that the Jeep is "Mine...all mine! Bwah ha ha ha ha! [evil laugh]". Basically the event of getting this new job has set into motion a set of circumstances that will allow Tessa and I to change our life for the better.

1.1 - New Job

A few weeks ago, I heard through the grapevine that Winrock at Petit Jean was wanting to hire an IT guy. I found out about the job through Dean Gentry, my brother's father-in-law, who has worked on Petit Jean for many years. I applied for the job but didn't feel very hopeful at first. After about a week I was called for an interview. Unfortunately, I had to go out on a job during the week that I had scheduled my interview. Instead I did an interview over the phone.

I felt that the interview went pretty well, at least they wanted to meet with me in person. Stuart Price, a co-worker of mine, was gracious enough to stay on site and let me go home for the interview. He did this for me, even though he had been on the road for two months, and I'd like to publicly thank him.

The second interview went well and led to the final interview with the executive director. During that interview I was offered and accepted the job. When he made the offer, my heart sank. Not because it was too low, (in fact it was higher than I expected), but because I knew I'd have to accept it. I know that seems weird but let me explain. I know that this is the right decision. It is the best decision for my family and for me. But it will not be easy leaving my church family, nor will it be easy leaving my co-workers. Before the interview I had weighed all of the pros and cons and taking this job won.

Petit Jean Job, Pros vs. Cons

Pro - Get to move back into inexpensive, large house
Con - Leave our church  family

Pro - No travel
Con - Leave my friends at work

Pro - No unexpected weekend work
Con - Moving...again

Pro - No billable bonus
Con - No billable bonus

Pro - No rush hour traffic
Con - No ER Bonus

Pro - No upstairs neigbor (enough said)
Con - No per Diem

Pro - Work that I enjoy
Con - More difficult bike to work (yes, I'm not ruling it out but man, what a hill)

Pro - No explosive or toxic environments (I hope)

Pro - No working for 35 hours strait (I really hope)

Pro - U of A discount benefits for my family

Pro - Quiet neigborhood

As you can see, I ran out of cons way before I ran out of pros. I could have gone on for longer with the pros but you have to stop somewhere. Also, there are some beautiful views on Petit Jean. (see figure 1.1)

Figure 1.1 - Beautiful Cedar Falls on Petit Jean. (www.arkansas.com/ things-to-do/waterfalls/)

2.1 - Moving to Russellville

Tessa and I own a 3 bedroom 2.5 bath 1640 square foot house in Russellville. We moved out of it over a year and a half ago and have been renting it out ever since. When we moved out we had one child (Logan) and did not have any plans to have any others for a while. Surprise!!!

Well, now we get to move our little family back into that great house in a quiet neighborhood. We'll have a big backyard and safe streets to walk our kids on. We have missed not only that house but Russellville in general. That house is approximately 28 miles from my new workplace.

3.1 - Two Vehicles Once Again

Since I'm going to be driving about 60 miles per day we decided to make ourselves a two car family again. We bought a 2000 Nissan Quest GXE. (see figure 3.1)






Figure 3.1 - Our 2000 Nissan Quest GXE

This minivan is cherry. It has just about every option that I've ever heard of, including an entertainment center. Unfortunately it has a busted screen. The VCR works but it is not much good without a screen. Luckily, this technology has become more affordable recently. We purchased a portable DVD player that mounts on the back of the seat. (see figure 3.2)





Figure 3.2 - An entertainment center that works on top of one with a busted screen.

I'll probably take the console out and replace it with a more useful one, maybe one with a cooler, or a gumball dispenser. Either way I'll have fun dissecting the old entertainment center and trying to figure out how it works.

3.2 - I Get the Jeep

I have wanted the Jeep for my own for some time. Now it's mine, all mine. I like just about everything about the Jeep. I've been thinking about it, this is really my first "manly" vehicle since The Silver Bullet. Since Silver there has been the Altima, and the Corsica. By the way, clicking of the link of the Altima also gives you a good view of the house. Now, finally a four wheel drive SUV. The first one of those since the Forester, which wasn't really mine as much as it was a family vehicle. It will be fun doing little things to fix it up. I can't wait to install a bike rack.

4.1 - Summary and Conclusions

So to summarize, Tessa and I are moving back to Russellville. Additionally, I am starting a new job on Petit Jean Mountain as an Information Technician. Tessa is now rolling in a sweet minivan, and I am rolling in the Jeep. These are all changes for the better. It is a very exciting time in our lives.

In conclusion, getting this job has changed the lives of four people for the better, Myself, Tessa, Logan and Malachi. I would love to take all the credit for this but I know it was God's hand at work. I have tried to get several jobs but have been unsuccessful. None of the jobs I applied for were as good as this one. I would like to thank God for this opportunity. Thank you all for your prayers and support. And finally, as you all must know by now, I'll keep you posted.

Out With the Old...In With the New

Sorry for the long break between posts, I've just had a lot to do.  I started my new job last Friday and so far it has been great.  I have gotten a lot accomplished in just a few days.  For those of you who don't know I started work at U of A Winthrop Rockefeller Conference Center on Petit Jean as an Information Technician.  At this new job I basically have to build a network from the ground up.  I call U of A Winthrop Rockefeller Conference Center by one of several names, it is either "The Mountain," "Winrock Conference," or "WRC."  In the future I will refer to it by one of these shorter versions. 

Not to toot my own horn, but Woo Woo!!! When I arrived at WRC, the facility had internet through Winrock International, who has recently moved to Little Rock.  The first day I dug out an old server and set up our new domain on it using our new T-1 line. Since then I have added internet services for eight users. Today I set up a remote email server for everyone's new addresses.  These are jobs that I estimated would take weeks, done in four days. But just so you know I'm not really bragging, at least not on myself.

From the minute I walked into WRC last Friday, it became apparent that a higher power was at work.  I started off with my hands tied because not only did I not have network access, I didn't have a server that I could access.  Meanwhile, senior staff were beginning work soon and I had no way to offer them internet or email.  There was an old server unplugged in the corner which Winrock left behind.  The fact that it was left behind is usually a bad sign.  But it turned on and powered up.  So I proceeded to gain access and attempt to configure it to meet our current needs.  To make a long story short, I had the Midas touch that day.  Everything I touched turned to gold.  The old server needed to be re-configured to give me access and again to set up a new network with which I could give everyone internet access, so I set to work tinkering with it.  I found that disks which I made as much as a couple of years ago and never used were now crucial in setting up this server.  When cleaning out my office there were plenty of things that I just couldn't bring myself to throw away, even though I didn't know what I could possibly use them for.  I found myself digging through those boxes and they were some of the key pieces needed.  At the end of the day I had got a tremendous amount of work done, thanks in no small part to Dean helping me pull and trace out network cable. 

A thought came to me when readying to leave for home, "I couldn't have planned a day like this."  And then it occurred to me that I hadn't planned it, but nevertheless it happened anyway.  God had been planning for this for years.  Pretty humbling to think about.  When I got home and excitedly told Tessa about the day's successes I blurted out, "I didn't know God knew so much about computers!"  But He does.

All Settled in...Almost

Last weekend myself, Tessa and company moved in to our new house.  Man, it is beautiful up here.  I'm sure that by the time we are set to move out we will be begging to stay.  I took some pictures of the kids playing in the creek, on the rocks etc and just some general pictures.  An interesting side, note inside this old shop behind the house

...is this fire truck!

I don't know much about it except that it was made in either the 1910's or 1920's and it has wooden spoked wheels.  Oh yeah, and it will run.  The shop is locked up tight so this picture was taken from a hole in one of the windows to the shop.  I hold Logan up to the hole in the window and listen to him point and say "FIRE TRUCK!" until my arms get tired.  Every time we go anywhere near the shop Logan says "Show, fire truck. Show, fire truck."  He is a big boy now.  Anyway, here are the pictures.

One Year Blog Post

On May 9, 2004, I began a project.  I decided to give this "blog" thing a try.  I mean, how hard can it be?  Just post a couple of pictures of the kids every weekend and call it good.  I had no idea how big it would become, or how much fun.  So much has changed in my life since the beginning of this blog, and in this post I will attempt to summarize.

It started with a wreck of the Jeep.  That began a series of events that sent me careening towards getting fit.  Let me explain, the next thing that happened was the junking of the Corsica, which made us a one car family.  That started me biking to work, which reminds me of the bikes...The too small old junky one......the too big old junky one...and the one that was just right.  Oh who could forget the bikes.  Not to mention the bike routes to work.    Through NLR traffic, then the river trail, and eventually through southwest LR and downtown traffic, and now, peaceful trees and scenic overlooks.  Quite a change!   And speaking of fitness, how about the Little Rock Marathon.    I am proud of having done it but I just hope I don't quit running entirely now that the goal is gone.

And how about those babies?    Logan was barely walking when this blog started and yesterday he was trying to climb a tree!  Malachi was a slobbering newborn and now he's walking. (for short distances)  I'd better not get started on those two because I'd post way too long.  Anyway, here are some pictures of the transition.               

It was a year of traveling and changes.  Oh the travel!       

Originally, I was going to post a map of my travels but then I realized two things.  One, I don't have my mapping software anymore. (*sob*) And two, the years kind of run together now and it's hard to remember when I went where.  Even at the tender age of 28 my memory fails me.

And of course, who could forget the birth and death of a dream...The Yellow Dart.   Oh The Yellow Dart, how you haunt my dreams.  Calling to me from the holding pen, "It's just a motor, you can fix me."  Some day TYD, some day...

Obviously, there were many more events during the year that impacted me not specifically mentioned so far.  Bobby's death, Tim's going to Basic, the wrecking of the Trailblazer, and one that I didn't blog about, Aunt Libby's death. These events have really made me consider my own mortality, and the frailty of our human bodies. I hope that I can remember the lessons learned from these experiences and do better at keeping an eternal perspective on my life, and the lives of my friends and family.  

What else? ..Oh yeah, my new job and our new minivan!  The two kind of go hand in hand because of their proximity and because one made the other necessary and/or possible.  I won't post much about this now because I'm posting about it all of the time, it's the NOW, this post is about the past year.  I'd go out on a very strong limb and say that we are much happier and better off now than we were a year ago.  I have really enjoyed sharing this year with all of you and I can only hope you have enjoyed reading about it.  Until next time, God bless.

Sunrise on Petit Jean

Tessa and the boys went to Bentonville yesterday for Cary's wedding shower, they will be back Sunday.  That leaves me home alone for a while, they even took the dogs.  Yes we have two dogs now, we got a Black Lab pup which I'll blog about later.  For now I'll talk about what I've done with my time alone so far.

This morning I woke up at the ridiculous hour of 3:00am.  I layed in bed until 5:00 and then submitted to getting dressed and starting the day.  "What is there to do at 5:00am on Petit Jean Mountain?" you ask.  Funny you should ask that because I asked myself the same question.  I finally decided that the only logical step would be to go to Stout's Point (the eastermost overlook) and watch the sunrise.

It started out slow, because there was quite a bit of cloud cover on the horizon.  But it was still beautiful, almost more beautiful because of the colors that the sun turned the clouds.  It started out as a red stripe in the sky.  Then it broadened and became more red.  Then, almost as if it was there the whole time, the top of the sun appeared in the redness.  Then the cloudy sky around it exploded into vivid purples, oranges, and yellows.  Then the sun really took shape as a red sphere in the midst of a beautiful array of colors.  I hardly knew what part of the sky to look at, for as soon as I moved my eyes, another part of it was becoming more colorful.  What is a moment like that worth?  A moment where there is no doubt that not only is there a God, but that He meant for us to see sights like this.  I only wish I had taken my camera. Maybe tomorrow.

Old Computer Stories

Things are starting to calm down here on the Mountain...finally.  I have finally got our network in pretty good shape.  So now that I have a little time on my hands at work I find myself reminiscing. 

This facility has been in operation in one form or another since the 50's.  It was first in operation as a cattle barn, then as Winrock International, and now as the Winthrop Rockefeller Center.  As you can imagine, a place with this kind of history has a few pieces of history still in operation, or at least on the shelf.  I have dug out three old first generation Windows laptops that must weigh a metric ton each.  Two of them work and I suspect the third would if I could find a power supply, even if the battery would only last for about 7 minutes.

Digging through this old equipment reminded me of something that Brady and I had done at my old job. We were in Detroit at a chemical plant where they had stuck us in "the dungeon."  Well, actually it was a basement.  In this basement they had tons of old equipment.  We were on the night shift for weeks on end.  Man was it boring.  To cure our boredom one day we dug up one of the old computers, turned it on and what do you know, it worked.  The old familiar Windows 3.1 (Win 3.1) logo appeared and we were up.  That was exciting but we weren't done.  We found an old network connection and hooked it up just to see what would happen.  Bingo! We were on the internet.  Rolling down the information superhighway in a foot powered, stone wheeled jalopy.

Oh, to remember the days when I still thought Internet Explorer was inferior to Netscape.  When C+ was just a grade, not a programming language that I was trying to learn.(and getting a C- in)  When Win 3.1 was the standard and Win 95 was too good to be true.  When I couldn't imagine using up an entire 1Gb hard drive.  Now I have a 150 Gb hard drive with just over 100Gb free, would laugh if someone asked me if they can connect their Windows 3.1 or 95 computer up to my network, and I have a secret disdain for Netscape users who won't "get with the program."  However, I still keep a copy of MS-DOS 6.22 along with Win 3.1 (on 3.5 floppies), Win 95, and 98 in my file cabinet.  I just can't bear to see them thrown away.  I'm sure one day, people will come back to Windows 3.1, and I'll be ahead of the curve.

We're BAAACK!!!

After a couple of days packing, loading, and unloading, we're back in Russellville.  Now come the days of unpacking, trying to figure out where to put things, and wondering how we got so much stuff.  Not really a whole lot more to say except it's good to be home.  I expect we'll stay here for a long time, at least I hope so. 

Oh yeah, and thanks Coop for the help with our entertainment center. I mean, I could have got it by myself and all, but thanks all the same.

Up in the Clouds

I just had to post these pictures and tell the story.  Last week on Petit-Jean, I saw a rare opportunity for photographs.  We were enjoying a nice sunny day on the mountain, but not everyone was... I drove to the office to get my cell phone charger when I noticed something interesting at the overlook.  There was heavy cloud cover at approximately the same elevation as the mountain.  It looked like you could walk out onto them, but I didn't try.  I felt like I had many times before on an airplane when you finally get above the clouds and get to see the sun again.  I could see the top of Nebo through the clouds, which told me that Russellville and Dardanelle were having a cloudy day.  I could also see the steam plume from the Russellville nuclear plant poking up through the clouds.  I just couldn't resist taking a picture of the Jeep up above the clouds as well. Notice the small ding in the bumper that was the subject of my first blog post.  Hope you guys enjoy the pics!

4th of July Party

I know I know, I haven't blogged in a while. Call it lazy bloggers syndrome, bloggers block, whatever. Anyway, I am absolute monarch and dictator of this blog so that means none of you get a vote. But just so that my subjects don't revolt I guess I'll throw you a bone.

For those of you who don't know, we threw a party here on the mountain on July 2nd.  It was a real hit.  People came here who have lived within miles of here and never been able to enjoy these facilities.  I feel good about what we're doing here, and this party proved that the community wants to participate.  That's good.  I don't really have much to say about it but I'll share some good pictures of it with you.  Including some pics of the kids.

I am lazy

If there are any of you left who still read my blog, here is my real apology.  I am a lazy booger and for that I'm sorry.  But it goes further than may be obvious from my lack of posts.  Remember my post about the Lake DeGray Tri?  I have trained about...let's see...ZERO hours for it.  Obviously, I'm not going to do it.  I have totally quit biking, running, and never really got started swimming.  I really have no excuse but I'm going to make some anyway.  It has been real hard lately to motivate me to do much more than go to work and sit on the couch.  What's the main thing missing?  In my opinion it's competition.  I don't have anyone here to prove anything to, if that makes any sense.  In LR I would bike to work all the time, constantly trying to improve my time.  And why?  So that when I got to go riding with the guys I didn't get left behind.  I actually do enjoy exercise, biking in particular, but the hardest part is getting the motivation to put on the shorts and get out of the door.  Once I get on the bike the hardest part is done.  Anyway, I'm done.  Hopefully I can at least blog regularly now that this is off my chest.  I have now officially joined the ranks of the couch potatoes.

Join the Revolution...

"I'll never buy a new car ever again." - Matt Wood (two years ago) 

One week ago I bought a new car again.  Never say never.

I really did feel sad about losing the Jeep....but I laugh all the way past the gas stations.  We bought a 2005 Chevy Cobalt.  For a stripped down model it sure does have some nice features.  CD Player, cruise, and my favorite the "Information center"  This handy dandy feature allows me to watch my gas mileage.  Whenever I really lay into it I can watch my fuel economy go from 36 to 30 mpg.  This feature will either really change my driving habits, or cause me to wreck watching the numbers change.  Which one it will be time has yet to tell.  Either way, here are some pictures of the boys enjoying daddy's new "fast car."  That's what Logan calls it, he has no idea that it is nowhere near as fast as the Jeep.  Oh well, he's still young.

Autumn on the Mountain...

I remember one of the first times I drove around on the mountain I was being shown the sights by Dean I made a comment on how beautiful it was, how great a view of the river valley you had from up here,  Dean said something to the effect of, "Yeah, I guess I forgot, you get used to it." Although unimaginable as it was then, he was right.  I found myself getting irritated at some sightseers who were 'driving too slow' just the other day when I realized that it had happened to me. When I drive past the scenic overlooks now I barely even notice them. 

I took a week of vacation a couple of weeks ago and had some time to get away from it all.  It turns out it was just enough time for the leaves to change.  As I was driving to work last Monday I began noticing some beautiful changes.  The colors of the leaves are so vibrant, it almost takes your breath away.  Tessa and I decided to have some pictures of our family made up here before the colors go away.  Here are some of the pictures. 

Addicted to MPG...and miles per calorie.

As you probably know, I got a new car.  If not, read about it here.  Well, I mentioned the information center feature in my first post about it.  It shows me several things such as engine temp, miles left before refueling (helpful) etc...  But the most interesting thing in my opinion is Miles Per Gallon (MPG).  In my previous post about it I said, "This feature will either really change my driving habits, or cause me to wreck watching the numbers change."  Well to date it has done neither.  Just kidding, actually, I have changed my driving habits somewhat.  It really is something to see how drastically stomping down on the accelerator can adversly affect your MPG.  Below are a few things that I have learned about gas mileage in this car.

1.  Going 65-70 on the freeway, I can get ~36 MPG.
2.  Going 65-70 on the freeway behind a Diesel truck, I can get ~39 MPG.
3.  Consistently taking off slowly can net an extra 2-3 MPG per tank.
4.  Going up Petit Jean Mountain is murder on gas mileage.
5.  Going down Petit Jean Mountain is great for MPG.
6.  Going 45-55 instead of 50-60 can save 2-4 MPG, depending on hills and curves.

For at least a month, watching MPG became an obsession of mine, and while driving I'm still somewhat preoccupied with it.  While I was sitting in my office at work drinking a Mtn Dew, something occurred to me.  What if my body had an information center?  What if every time I did something that was bad for my body I could watch my health meter go down, or watch seconds tick off of my life?  I'm sure I'd probably not drink any more Mtn. Dew's if I knew the adverse affects they had on my body.  I have decided to do the Little Rock Marathon again this year, but instead of the half, I'm going to do the whole thing.  26.2 miles of running.  Sounds impossible to most of us doesn't it?  And I'm sure at my current Mile Per Calorie (MPC) it is impossible.  My chore between now and March 5, 2006 is to strengthen my heart, lungs and legs enough to increase my MPC high enough to complete the race.  Wish me luck......and try to find me an information center implant.

Helicopter ride on Petit Jean

I was planning to leave work early on Friday so that we could get an early start driving to Bentonville when I got the opportunity to fly in a helicopter. I didn't leave early.

We flew all around the west northwest side of the mountain and turned back at the airport.  On the camera that I brought we had 124 pictures, although not all of them turned out just great.  I want to see the pictures from the other camera that went, but I haven't had a chance yet.  It was quite a breathtaking ride.  I wish I could have done it without trying to take pictures of everything but I hate to miss an opportunity like that.  There's not much to tell that the pictures can't, so here are some of the best ones.  For those of you who haven't visited here just look for the silo's, they are pretty much in the middle of the property where I work.

Nice Weekend, Bad Ending...

Me, Tessa and the kids had a wonderful weekend at her parent's house, read all about it on Tessa's blog.  It all went fine until we got home and found out our water heater was busted. 

I actually didn't find out until about an hour after we arrived.  I went strait to a bible study at the church and when I got home Tessa said that basically our water heater was pouring water out of the bottom and had flooded our laundry room.  Luckily she had a couple of mats on the floor for the dogs and they soaked up most of the water, averting serious water damage. 

I went to Lowe's with no money, about 15 minutes before closing time. I really just wanted to see what I was going to have to dish out to get a new one.  I left with a new water heater.  I talked with a very helpful salesperson who suggested I apply for Lowe's credit.  About two minutes later I had a $1,500 line of credit, and about 9 more minutes later I was heading out the door with a new water heater.

I got it installed with the exception of a couple of fittings, which I will get at Leonard's Hardware first thing tomorrow morning.  All in all I was pleased with the guys at Lowe's.  You wouldn't expect people to work a few extra minutes to help you out on a Sunday night, but it happens sometimes.

Can Politeness go too far?

Polite - showing or characterized by correct social usage b : marked by an appearance of consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy c : marked by a lack of roughness or crudities (Merriam-Webster)

In my chosen profession, I (both purposely and accidentally) gather a lot of information.  Any computer guy hears it from all sides.  If there is division in an organization, you can bet I know who's side everyone is on.  This is really more of a burden than a blessing.  I have had to learn the art of "keeping my yapper shut."  But is this always the best policy?  I honestly don't know and I hope to ramble through this post and figure it out.

Let's just say for the sake of argument, that you hear a couple of people patting a third person on the back for his/her "good" work on a joint project.  Never mind that just (literally) seconds before the last person entered the room the other two were talking about how the third's work made them want to vomit.  I...uh...had a friend that experienced something very similar to this just the other day.  If this had happened to me, and not a friend of mine, I'm sure I'd question everything nice to me that the first two people had said, and also the third, since I also know...um, I mean my friend also knew, that he/she hated the other's work but complemented it also.

Believe it or not, some people say nice things to each other's faces, and say bad things behind their back.  I think that in this case it is totally unacceptable to be "polite."  Before I read the definition I didn't even think that putting on a false face is considered actually being polite.  According to Webster it is pretty much not being rude or discourteous.

My take on the whole thing, if you have a problem with someone about something important, take it up with them.  Being polite can even be applied to this situation, use tact and deference.  Instead of saying "That looks so terrible, I try not to even let my peripheral vision catch it when I walk by."  Say, "Listen, we need to talk about your TPS reports..."  Wait, no, no that's not it.  Say, "Listen friend, I'm not telling your supervisor or anything, but maybe you should take a second look at [insert project here].  Maybe some improvements can be made.  I'd be happy to give you some help if you'd like." 

But that's just my take on it, I'd be thrilled to hear what any of my readers think.

Why Haven't I blogged lately?

This is the closest you'll get to an explanation of my two week blogging sabbatical so listen up.

Weekend before last, Tessa and I took a much needed break.  We stayed on the mountain in one of the finest rooms available.  We had a view out of the window that is probably one of the top ten in Arkansas.  We had a great time, enjoying prime rib cooked by the kitchen staff for dinner and a great breakfast.  Long story short, we had a great time for minimal cost.  The picture above is of the view we had from the ground below our balcony. 

The reason I haven't blogged about this yet is because of the unfortunate event that occurred while we were up here.  Woody got hit by a car at my parents house.  He is the second dog we've lost that way in just over a year.  So as you can imagine the weekend is somewhat bittersweet.  I'm not totally broken up about this or anything but it is sad because he was a really good puppy and would have made a great dog for the children.  That's the story, but don't be too sad.  I didn't write this story so that people would be sad. Instead, be happy that we had a fun filled (affordable) weekend. I feel so blessed to work in a place that we can enjoy in this way.

Had to Share a couple of Pics

The first one is a panorama of the sunset from the evening of our weekend getaway.  The second one was an interesting cloud phenomenon I observed on the way to work this week.

We're gonna have another Baby!

This Valentines day, I got more than I had bargained for as a present.

I did the typical "Funny/Sweet card and a bag of candy" Valentines day gift to Tessa this year.  I placed it under her pillow on Feb 13th and let her discover it as she went to bed that night.  The next day at work Tessa told me that she had gotten me something.  I gave her the old obligatory "Oh, you didn't have to do anything..." which by the way, is actually true.  But still I was excited at the prospect of receiving what was probably candy.  It was...and more.

I glanced at the bag of candy, knowing that the real excitement would come later as I gobbled down pieces of it while hiding from the boys who, of course, would want a piece of their own.  I'll summarize the card.  It basically compared me to Prince Charming but said that I was better than him because he didn't know how to fix a sink, paint the house, etc.  Inside the card Tessa had wrote, "You even made your own present."  "Did I make her something?"  I was wondering.  Then I took a closer look at the bag of candy.  Inside it was another bag, which contained a positive pregnancy test.  We are excited, even though this wasn't exactly in our "plan."  Turns out God has His own plan and I'm glad to see Him implement it.

Why can't I do what I want to do?

The Little Rock Marathon was held March 6, 2006, I have not ran a single step since December 27, 2005.  Needless to say, but I wasn't there.  I've been avoiding this for weeks now but Andrea busted me out.

"What happened?" You may be asking yourself.  "You were so enthusiastic last November."  I tell you what happened, laziness happened.  Human nature happened.  Romans 7:15 - 24 happened.  Sure that scripture is more about sin than not accomplishing a fitness goal, but laziness is sin.  You don't need to look much farther than Proverbs to see laziness mentioned in the same sentence with gluttony and drunkedness.

Of course this problem is systemic, affecting everything that we do. (or try to do)  It is a universal flaw that affects all humans in all aspects of life.  Why does a waiter get complacent about checking on tables after several months on the job?  Why does productivity eventually go down if no corrective measures are taken by management?  Because people begin to think, "I deserve more money, and until I get it I'll have to work less to make up for the inequity.",  or some other type of excuse.  We are a people of excuses.  I've got one for not doing the LR marathon, wanna hear it?  Nah, it doesn't matter. 

I do have one final thought, albeit probably half baked.  A scripture that my Dad has reminded me of several times in my youth comes to mind. Matthew 5:37 "But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No' be 'No.' Whatever is more than these is of the evil one." (Word English Bible)  The verses leading up to this one basically say not to make a vow, i.e. I promise, or I swear.  Doing that is without worth.  Basically the way I see it is this, we are so likely to not do what we say we are going to do, that we shouldn't make a big deal about saying it.  It's been said by elementary students everywhere, "Say it don't spray it."  I say, "Do it, don't say it...oh yeah, and don't spray it either"

You will be assimilated...

I think I've got a theme going here lately, "Don't say you will, or will not, do something."  That being said I've done it again.

A little over a year ago I was on a job site and I saw a product that I hadn't seen before.  A guy was walking around the site with a blue piece of hardware in his ear...all the time.  It didn't take me long to ascertain it's purpose.  It was a bluetooth powered wireless cell phone headset.  This device connects you to your cell phone, enabling you to do two things:

1. Answer and make calls on your cell phone without holding a phone to your ear.
2. Look like a dork.

I made fun of this guy constantly and swore I'd never get one.  I think that the main reason I didn't like the device initially was because the guy who had one annoyed me so.  Not only did he look like the "bad boy" of the _________ (insert annoying boy band here), but he was constantly on the phone.  Not to mention it usually sounded like he was trying to talk his wife out of setting the house on fire.

I recently got a new phone the Cingular 2125 and I gotta say, I love it.  It is more like a phone than a PDA but it still checks my work email and allows me to play solitaire.  Pretty much all you need.  Anyway, it has bluetooth built in and one of my bosses purchased a bluetooth wireless headset and couldn't figure out how to use it.  I asked him about it and the rest is history.  I really like the device and it works great.  However, I have learned some important lessons from the first guy that I ever saw with one:

1. Only wear it when you need it. (i.e. you are on the phone)
2. Don't walk through public locations talking about private matters.  Believe it or not, people can still hear you talking.
3. Do not get your tongue, cheek, nose, or ear pierced and especially not all of them. (really has nothing to do with the phone, but these things are just distracting)
4. Don't look at people while talking on the phone to other people, it's creepy.  Look down or somehow gesture that you're on the phone.  Tapping your earpiece while mouthing "phone" should work.

You know what, I'm still not sure that the world is ready for these headsets yet but like it or not they are here.  Logan has even decided that he wants to wear it sometimes.  Parents beware, you live with little copycats.  Only be a dork if you want them to be one too.

Squirrel

Today I saw two squirrels mating between the yellow lines on the highway.  They ran away just before I got to them.  I bet, if you're a squirrel, that is like the coolest thing.

Apologies to the faithful

Apologies to all.  I have managed to go through the entire month of June without a single blog entry. I have had a ton of things to blog about, even started a couple of entries only to derail before I could finish them.  As penance I am going to try to put together as many entries today and tomorrow as I can muster.  BTW, this counts as one.

I won an iPod...and got a puppy in the same weekend!!!

Two long stories as short as possible.  This Friday I attended an AT&T customer appreciation banquet in Little Rock.  Funny that one of the only reasons I attended this was that in the invitation they said they were giving away several door prizes and a couple of them were iPods. 

"I've never won anything, I don't know why I'm even looking at my ticket."  said I to those eating with me.  Within 5 minutes I could no longer make the claim to that badge of honor.  They called my number and I won an iPod shuffle.  I really like it, but I refuse to put the Apple stickers that came with it on anything that I own.  I wish I didn't have to install the software but I don't think it will work otherwise.  That being said, it is perfect for working out, riding the bike, etc.

We got a puppy on the way back from the AT&T thing.  We were leaving Target and Tessa spotted the cutest puppy behind a "Free Puppies" sign.  I don't have any good pictures of him yet (our camera is MIA) but just know that he's half Golden Retriever, half Catahoula, and looks very similar to a Newfoundland.  He's black with traces of white on his feet and on his chest.  This dog is HUGE for a 7 week old.  He's probably going to be on of those dogs that most burglars would look at and think, "It's not worth it."  You know, as in "If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad."  His bark already is louder than most adult dogs.

Back!

Not that I haven't had much to say lately, but I'm finally out of the time loop.  Stuck in Christmas Day isn't as fun as it sounds...haha.  Nice one Andrea, almost enough to lure me out of retirement. Dyron's comment put me over the top.

So, what do I occupy my time with these days?  Mostly kids, with work in between.  I must say it's gotten considerably harder once the boys discovered their superpowers...

But I still manage to hold my own, still having some superpowers of my own.

But I'll be the first to admit I'm not what I used to be.  For example, I've discovered that I can't eat whatever I want to anymore and not expect to still weigh "a buck fifty".  But I digress.  My blogging brain isn't what it used to be either but consider this a warm up.  I think I'll be more inclined to blog once I redesign the look a little bit.  For now this will have to do as a restart. 

At least I took the "New Look...Same Content." tag line off the front page.  It hasn't been a new look in a long time.

Major changes...and pictures for dessert

Well we're moving on to Petit Jean Mountain.  My  employers have offered me a chance to live in one of the houses they own about 2 miles away from the main campus.  If you recall about 3 years ago when we first got the job we lived in one of the houses for about 2 months while getting re-situated in Russellville.  Well this time it will be much more long term than that.

This is a huge blessing for us and we are very excited about it.  There are so many fun things to do on the mountain, especially in the summer.  Most days we will have no lack of things to do, all we have to do is stay motivated to go out and enjoy God's creation.

Logan starts kindergarten next year, I can hardly believe it.  Putting him on a bus and sending him off to school is not a moment I look forward to.  Letting go of that will be quite hard.  Chi is at times both the sweetest boy I've ever met and the most rambunctious. He'll melt your heart with a sweet word and then push his sister down in the next moment.  Needless to say he makes things interesting.  Bella is walking and jabbering up a storm.  She certainly has her Daddy's heart wrapped around her little baby fingers.

Well, enjoy the pictures and pray that we make this move without driving each other crazy.  Thank you and God Bless.

To the blogging faithful...

Man I can't believe the comments on my last post.  I figured that my audience had given up on me, I know I had.  Good to know there are still a few out there reading. 

I'm not sure how many of you know but I'm a very sentimental guy.  Often I look to the past and remember how great things were, sometimes to the detriment of the present.  Well I'm not about to say I'm through reminiscing, but I'm definitely through living in the past.  Now I begin living in the now.  These are the best times of my life and I'm not going to miss out on them by wondering about decisions I've made or roads not taken.

Even if I tried to return to a previous phase of my life I'm sure I would soon find out that it isn't possible.  As Thomas Wolfe said "You can't go home again".  Nothing would be as it were when you were last there.  If I went back to college, or a previous job, it wouldn't be the same, even those things have changed.  I'm bad to cling on to what I know in fear of the unknown when the truth is, it's the unknown that should give us hope.  It's the unknown that should be exciting, not scary. :-)

To the people who share my past, I love you all.  Let's go out and make a beautiful future for ourselves.  God bless you and thanks for your friendship.
(and comments)

Southside Church

For those of you who do not yet know, Southside Baptist Church was hit by a tornado last Friday.  This is the church that I grew up in, the aisle that I walked as a youth to accept Christ as my Saviour, the baptistry where I was immersed, even the clock on the wall that I used to closely watch during services waiting for noon.  That clock now sits on 8:32, and heaven only knows if and when it will move again.  I helped on Friday and Saturday to salvage that which we could. Even standing in the sanctuary looking at the sky, it was hard to believe. It should here be said that Brother Stephens showed his true heart in the midst of the storm. When his scanner went off he ran to the new sanctuary, where 6 men were working on a scaffolding and brought them to safety. If you saw the scaffolding, you'd know that it would not have been a pleasant place to be during the storm. I can't imagine that any of them would have survived. In that situation, faced with your own safety and that of almost complete strangers, what would you have done?

There's really not much else to say, the "old" sanctuary has considerable water damage and has lost half the roof.  The fellowship hall is missing at least half of one of its walls.  The "new" sanctuary and classrooms which were not yet completed were the hardest hit, most of it now flattened.  The parsonage lost the second floor and was severely damaged.  Much work is to be done.  Thanks to the miracle of modern insurance, the Church will likely have a chance to make a fresh start.  Please pray for the Church and those who have lost homes and loved ones in these tornados.  I have included some pictures of the damage, for those of you who remember. (notice the scaffolding in the second to last photo)

Life on the mountain

As per always, my exercising schedule is erratic.  Okay these days it's sporatic.  But I still enjoy riding my bike, and I've started doing a little bit of trail riding.  There are some privately owned trails that intersect with our neighborhood.  These trails are owned by my boss, who doesn't mind me riding them.  The main trail is about .75 miles long and has an elevation increase of about 160 feet.  Makes for a tough ride going up but very fun coming back.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention that the trail ends up at a frontier cabin owned by my boss.  At that cabin there is a well that you can drop a bucket into and draw cool clean water from.  I usually refill my water bottle there.  Also, this cabin has a beautiful bluff view overlooking the Arkansas River.

When Betsy and Andrew came to visit us a few weeks ago we all three rode up the trail and hung out for a bit at the cabin. (see picture of Betsy in the swing)  Tess and I have also biked it while the boys drove it in their Power Wheels, a good time was had by all.  Recently this little trail has been expanded, and I'm not sure I'm all that  happy about it.  Portions of the trail have been bulldozed into a road, suitable for just about any vehicle.  I liked it better when it was mostly just a walking/biking trail but hey, it's not my land.  Anyway, I'll include some pictures of the trail, and a few before/after shots.

I don't usually do politics but please...

Two beautiful photographs, two very different captions.

I can't believe it, but I enjoy Facebook

I have avoided it like the plague.  Hearing ppl say things like [insert fake valley girl accent] "OMG, I so facebooked that yesterday! LOL" [/end fake valley girl accent]  I looked at it a while back and it seemed too infantile.  I guess based on the people that I knew who used it I thought it was more or less a dating site.  Well I guess I have to admit I was wrong.  I sort of have a disconnect with some of today's "young people" and I thought this was just another one of their things that I won't understand.

I signed up based on a recommendation from Jeff Hicks, who I visited on a recent trip to LR.  I have always liked and respected Jeff, and he has a way of explaining things that I enjoy.  Well we talked about it a bit and I wasn't completely sold, but at least willing to try.  I created an account on Wednesday, and added 2 friends.  At current count I have 39 "friends", including some who found me since I created my account based on either mutual friends or groups I'm in such as "I was one of Bro Dave's ATU Wesley Foundation Circuit Riders" or Arkansas Tech University Alumni.  Really pretty amazing.  I'm connecting with people from college and previous jobs that I haven't seen or heard from in years.  So I must say, "Facebook, you have my apologies for all the bad things I said about you. IMHO, LOL, AFK, BBS ...(trails off)"

What I've learned from video games. (But mostly the Bible)

I don't mind telling you that in my life I've spent a lot of time playing video games.  Looking back at my youth and college days I guess you could say there was not much I'd rather do.  In college I'd buy a game, play it whenever possible, obsess over it when I wasn't playing it, and then put it on a shelf after I defeated the last "Boss".  Then off to the next video game.  And so it went.  As life advanced and responsibilities increased, video game time decreased, but not the lack of desire for it.  Especially when traveling.  I'd buy a game on a 2 week job and play it every evening after the days work.  Until I beat it of course.  I've even replayed games to see if I could make the story turn out different.

A few weeks (or was it months) ago in our Sunday School Class we were reading through Ecclesiastes.  If you've never read it, I suggest doing so.  King Solomon (the most likely author) had more possessions than anyone before him.  The book of Ecclesiastes documents his quest for happiness.  He documents the results of denying himself nothing that his heart desired, and the emptiness of it all.

"Thus I considered all my activities which my hands had done and the labor which I had exerted, and behold all was vanity and striving after wind and there was no profit under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 2:11

Here is a man who had 700 wives, and 300 girlfriends.  Obviously he got whatever he wanted.  Built vineyards, houses, monuments for himself, but found no joy in them.  He realized that life is but a breath, and someone can easily mismanage and ruin all that he'd built within a generation after his death.

I may be the only video game addict I know but I doubt it.  Once I start on a video game I can hardly stop until I've beaten it.  Then I get to watch how the story ends and the credits roll.  Thing is, I've played very few that were worth playing through again.  Then you are left to look for the next video game to obsess over for 2 weeks and then put on the shelf. 

Now for the tie-in. 

Video games are basically life accelerated.  In two weeks you can sneak aboard enemy ships, free hostages, learn to be a Jedi and save the Galaxy, etc.  all in the course of a few days or weeks.  But in the end, what have you gained?  Nothing really.  This need not only apply to video games, but could be a book, a TV show, whatever. 

Whether you're waiting for the season finale of 24, reading, playing video games, etc. you are living vicariously through something of the world.  The only thing that truly matters in this world is that we build a relationship with God and do our best to see that our friends/family do the same.  I'm going to paraphrase C.S. Lewis because I can't remember the exact quote, but essentially the only reason we're born is chiefly so that we can die. 

You and everyone else you know ARE GOING TO DIE.  No one gets out of here alive.  I'm not sure how many of you have read the entire "Chronicles of Narna" series, but as always I highly suggest it.  In the book, "The Silver Chair" Eustance has just watched the death of a dear friend, King Caspian, who has aged many years in the time Eustance was back in England.  After a solemn moment, in which Aslan weeps, (I'll try not to spoil the whole thing) King Caspian is restored to youth and life.  Eustance is reluctant at first to approach or touch him, fearing him as a ghost. (probably a slight paraphrase)  "Don't be an ass." Says Caspian.  "I've only died.  There are very few men who haven't."  Which is strange to think about but certainly has a ring of truth to it.  Our chief responsibility then, it seems should be to bring as many people to a relationship with Christ as possible.  But how to do that?  Bring yourself into as close a relationship with Christ as possible so that He can show you how.  To me that is time much better spent than "Saving the Princess."  My apologies to Mario.